Rambling

Can't Sleep

So today my little baby is seven months old which is just crazy. I can't believe it has now been six months I've been with out my Nanny. So much has changed...I miss her more than words can describe. I still catch myself day dreaming about a moment shared..a time I wish we could share...what she is missing...what I need to ask...what I need to say...a hug I want to feel...a voice I want to hear....a hand I want to hold...so many what ifs....just a quick reminder of how quickly life as you know it is gone and you are forced to live with out the one person you don't want to. It makes me more thankful for the people in my life and is a good reminder to live each day for eternity rather than the now. Die to self and live for him...for my kids..my family...others in need...just like my Nanny did for me...just in deep thought tonight and can't sleep. I dream about my Nanny every night. Sometimes it seems so real I feel like she was never gone. I have even had the talk with her about why she did have to die and what is heaven like and I could go on and on. I just can't wait to see her again. O'h what a sweet day. Grief is defiantly a process. One day I think okay I can do this..and then something happens that makes me wish so bad she was hear and I turn to mush in seconds. God really has been my source of comfort and strength. I feel him in the midst of pain and he gives me that supernatural comfort that can only be explained by his power. It is so nice to have him hold me and carry the weight. I get so much fulfillment from watching my kids grow and love life and think about how beautiful it is that I love them more than anything but God loves me as his child and them even more than I do. What a gift we have been given. He has entrusted his most precious treasure in my hands and now I'm to show him where do I put my faith..upon him or the things of this world?? Father..today I choose you..the one that gives and takes away..the one who made me and gave me life and little fingers that now hold onto mine...the one that comforts me in the storms..and lifts me up out of the valley. Here are some sweet pics I took of the kids yesterday before taking Jacks to school.

Jackson to school.

Comments

Re: Rambling

Brooke, I know how hard it still must be for you! Grief sure is a day by day process. I can't believe how your kids have grown. We have changed our blog! It is now
www.thekinleyfamily.blogspot.com

Tambrey Kinley

Re: Rambling

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